Impenetrable
by Katurz
Summary: It's the love that pushed him over the edge. That made him who he is. It's all her fault. [Rated T for language and some suggestive themes]
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own very specific characters in the fanfiction, the characters I do own at my OCs such as Kate, Symphony and Chris. The rest of the characters, settings, and ideas in this book belong to their respected owners.

**Author's Note:**

New fanfiction, because I love Divergent and Jai Courtney and I couldn't help but write a fanfiction that includes him and the book Divergent.

So basically, this story is all about the reasons why Eric is so cold- what happened to him etc.  
It takes place before the Divergent books, and makes FALSE claims about Eric's past, so no, most of this stuff is made up off the top of my head since Eric doesn't have much history in the books.

Well I hope you Enjoy

_Chapter 1._

"Rise and shine, princess." Hands grab at my legs, my arms, everything. I open my eyes and try to scream, but a sock is placed in my mouth and a blindfold is over my eyes. Two men carry me, I assume. Or two boys. I kick and scream into my gag, but it's not use. The boys are strong and hold me with a secure iron grip. They walk down a hall, or so that's what it sounds like from their feet scraping against rock. I hear the sound of the chasm grow closer, and then I'm put down on my knees. Near the chasm. Or close to it, at least. I hear a belt buckle being undone, and then a clank on the ground. Someone in front of my sticks a needle in my neck, and before I know it, I can't move my legs and I fall over onto hard rock, landing on my wrist.

A second later, a hand is stuck down my pants. I scream into the gag again, and try to hit the person molesting me, but my hands are tied down by someone else.

"Stop it!" I try to yell into the gag, but it comes out as gibberish, and I hear a snicker from one of the boy's mouth.

"Look at little Kate, trying to be all strong," says one of the boys. His voice echoes in the space around us, so I can't make out which guy it is. I take deep breaths. Deep. Breaths. Tears run down the side of my face. Then I hear footsteps coming from behind me. The boy takes his hands out of my pants and I roll onto my side, sobbing onto the ground.

"Chris, save me," I mumble out of confusion. I repeat my old friend's name over and over into the gag, even though I know it makes no sense.

"Get out," I hear a stern voice say. A familiar voice. One of the instructors for sure. The scurrying sound of footsteps runs past my ears. I reach from the gag in my mouth, and get it out. It works, but not before I realize someone kneeling beside me. I'm about to punch them, tell them to leave me alone, but instead I'm picked up by strong arms. My bare back touches their arms. I sob silently as the person walks through the halls quietly. I don't bother seeing who is carrying me, I just curl into the body carrying me, feeling the muscles beneath the person's shirt tense. I feel goose bumps start to line their skin as I place my head against the person's chest in any way to gain any comfort at all. Finally, I hear the sound of a door open and a few giggles from inside the room. I'm placed on my usual cot and the blindfold is taken off my head. I look quickly around the room to see who was carrying me, but I just see the quarters' door slam close, and hear the sound of snickering around me. I sigh and fall onto my bed, sleeping in a fetal position with the covers tucked right up to my neck.

Four bangs a fork on the railing of the room, like he does every morning. I groan as I wake up. As soon as realization floods to me that last night was not just a dream, I shiver greatly. Almost raped, the phrase runs in my mind. I was weak last night. I didn't fight hard enough. I cried in front of one of the instructors. I hit my hand against my head and look over to my right. An amity transfer, Symphony looks at me with bright eyes. She's always an optimist. A few days ago, I didn't even know her, and now she's my only friend because she promised me we would get through this together.

She's not a bad fighter either, she's pretty, with straight black hair and soft eyes to trick a boy into thinking she's soft. But really, she's stubborn, really strong, and can flip any guy over her shoulder. Even Johnson, the best and cruelest transfer. I rub my hair through my fingers, combing it out slowly as I rub my wrist. I sprained it when I fell last night.

I take a deep breath, sit up, and take a deep breath. Slowly, my eyes scan the room, wondering who assaulted me last night. Embarrassment runs through me. It could've been any of them.

"Hey."

I snap back to reality and look at Symphony. She's in her Dauntless Blazer already, and in her black sweatpants for training today.

"Hey," I reply casually.

"After training, we're going to play Dare, you should play with us," she says in a soft tone. Probably because she knows what happened.

"Who's us?" I ask, grabbing a pair of black slacks, and putting them over my underwear.

"Hm. Joshua, Anica, Zeke," she pauses. Though Zeke isn't a leader, he helps sometimes with getting us adjusted to fighting. He looks nice. Symphony sometimes glares at him with a certain sparkle in her eye. "I think Jackson and Rain are playing as well."

"Sure," I say, standing up. I glance about the room. Everyone is almost gone. I take the opportunity to quickly use the bathroom before I return to Symphony. She looks me up and down before giving a brief smile and turning to face the doorway. We leave the room and jog to the Pit quickly. Just as we enter, she stops me.

"Are you okay?" she questions. I've always liked that about Symphony in the short time I've known her. She actually cares. If you're not okay, she isn't okay. I guess it's an Amity thing.

"Yeah. Did you see who was carrying me last night?" I ask, looking at Four and the other instructor Eric standing near the fighting arena.

Symphony shakes her head. A small feeling of disappointment triggers inside of me and I curse silently. Guess I'll never know who shivers under my touch. I smile at the thought. Maybe it was Four.

"Watch out, guys!" a shout from behind Symphony comes suddenly. And then Zeke is crashing between us, swinging his arms around our necks.

"How are you two doing today?" he says, beaming. Maybe it was Zeke. His dark skin reflects in the dim lighting of the Pit. Symphony looks at him and grins lightly.

"We're doing okay," she answers for me. Zeke looks over to me.

"You okay?" he whispers into my ear. I force a small smile, and nod. I guess what happened is spreading around like a rumor already. "Good, cause I got a good Dare for you if you're playing." With that, he strides over to Four. Eric gives him a disapproving look. I never liked Eric that much. He isn't as cold as most people have sad, if you're a good fighter. But he is strict, doesn't talk much, keeps to himself. It nags at me sometimes. He isn't as forgiving as other instructors. But you can't learn if you aren't challenged, I suppose.

I fall in line next to the other initiates as Four declares that we'll be testing our ability at fighting with other people. Since it's the third day of initiation, I can see why the instructors want to see us fight each other. Four looks down at his list of trainees. He purses his lips before talking. Symphony squeezes my hand. She's as nervous as me, apparently.

"Symphony and Anica," Four speaks. Symphony takes a deep breath, and lets out a small moan. Anica is easy to take on, she's short, but fast. She doesn't notice her skill, though, so she can't use it to her advantage.

Symphony steps up onto the fighting floor, and takes her stance with her arms in front of her face. Anica smiles a bit. "Good luck," she squeaks out. Symphony nods.

"Fight, then," Eric pipes up. I send a glance his way, and am surprised when he meets my gaze. He holds it a little longer than I would like. I look away, shivers from his eyes run down my spine. I shake my head and look back at Anica, who makes her move and hits Symphony in the arm. Symphony uses no mercy, and quickly turns and flips Anica. Once Anica is down, Symphony kicks her in the side. Anica stands back up, and coughs for a few seconds before throwing a punch that hits Symphony in the jaw. It's powerful enough to knock Symphony back a few feet. Then Anica gets low and trips Symphony by swiveling her leg underneath herself. Symphony falls with a bang, Anica gets on top of her and throws a few more punches.

"Good," Four says. Anica instantly apologizes quiet enough for none of the instructors to hear. Symphony stands up, a few drops of blood coming from her lip, as well as a few scrapes on her jaw line, but she accepts Anica's apology. I hope Four calls me next, in a sense. I need to beat someone up. I need to take my anger out. Maybe I'm not thinking right. Maybe I'm just thinking as a Dauntless would think. Isn't that the whole point of being in Dauntless, though? Symphony takes her place next to me again, wiping her blood on her sleeve.

"Why don't you two fight?"

Everyone glances at Zeke, even I. He gestures towards Eric and Four. I heard that Four beat Eric during initiation, that Eric came in second and always hated Four for that. Maybe not hate, maybe just dislike.

"Zeke, not now," Four mumbles, going back to his paper.

"Why not?" Eric questions, looking at the initiates.

"Tomorrow," Four gives a quick grin. It disappears easily. He looks back at his papers. "We will practice throwing knives for the remainder of the hour. Then we will do one on one battles." The group follow him to a row of targets lined up in front of a table that has throwing knives on it. I never saw someone throw a knife, but it feels light in my hand as I pick it up. I throw it at the target and hit the very corner of the board. Four demonstrates how to throw it correctly, and I realize I need to use my wrist more. So I go back to the table and grab another knife. This time it hits the target closer, but not perfect. I sigh.

_Pretend it's the one who assaulted you._

I grab the next knife and almost hurl it at the target with all my might. It hits the center of the chest. I sigh, my arm tired from throwing so hard. Taking a deep breath, I look over at Symphony, who stands with Anica and Joshua. For a brief second I close my eyes, and then grab another knife. I imagine the line in which the knife will go, the force it will hit the board with. I throw.

Miss.

I sigh, frustrated. After a few more throws, I actually manage to hit the target and sink the knife into it. Then I hear Four call to use to set up one on one fights.

"I've paired Zeke, Eric and myself with a few of you," he announces. Eric groans quietly, but I can hear it from where I am. "Those who have been advancing more than everyone else will be working with us for a few hours. Don't worry, I'll make sure we go easy on you." I see Four give a stern glance at Eric at the last sentence. I make eye contact with Zeke, who seems pretty bubbly from my perspective.

"Johnson with Symphony," Four says, "Anica with Rain. Jackson with Zeke. Jessica with Meredith. Myself with Bash. Kate with Eric."

I don't listen to the rest of the names. Me? More advanced than Symphony and Johnson? I can barely throw a knife. Then again, I have developed some muscle and not many of the other initiates have done that in the last few days. Without making eye contact with my partner, I walk to an open mat with Symphony and Johnson on one side, and Zeke and Jackson on the other side. I wait patiently while my instructor trudges over to the mat.

"I'll go easy on you," Eric says. I raise my eyebrow. I know I can't take him. Even with a long-sleeved shirt on, I can tell he is way stronger than I am by the size of his arms. "Besides, Four wants me to work on technique with you." He rolls his eyes, then steps onto the mat. I follow, and stand in front of him.

"You're fast," he says, standing almost too close for comfort. "That's good." He raises his arms, I raise mine as well and for a while we turn in circles, not wanting to attack first. "Try to get behind me," he suggests, and then goes for a punch as soon as he finishes talking. I duck instinctively and turn to face his back.

"Good, now next time try to be faster and get low to trip me."

I try the technique. Though I hit his leg with my foot to trip him, he stays up straight.

"You need to hit my leg with your calve. It'll be harder for your foot to slip past my leg so I can stay up straight." I never realized Eric would be so kind, and not yell at me when I mess up.

Next time, I almost succeed in tripping him. He falls over, but then recovers as he goes into a push up stance and pushes himself up quickly. He turns around. "Right," he says, making eye contact. The shivers return. I look over at Zeke, who is succeeding in beating his opponent. Symphony flips Johnson over her back and then gets kicked in the leg. Why are we just talking, instead of fighting?

"Ready?" Eric asks. I'm about to nod, but he throws a punch and hits me right below my jawline. I grip at it in pain, knowing that it will bruise. But I'm also glad because I know that he could've broken my jaw if he wanted to. He lunges again and I practice my new move. Only as I duck and move forward to spin around him, my arm catches him in his chest. He falls forward, as do I.

I land on his chest. I take two deep breaths before he slides out from underneath me and then stands up.

"Next time, don't stare at me. Punch me. I can handle it," he spits out. I don't know what I did wrong, so I look over at Zeke. He looks at Eric, then at me, and shrugs.

"Are you just going to stare at your boyfriend all day?" Eric asks. He's turned cold. "Or are you actually gonna become Dauntless and start fighting?" I stare at him, confused for a second. He smirks, his eyes dark. "Come on, little girl."

_Little girl._

_My father's nickname for me. _

_He always said that right before he whacked me upside my head, before he whipped me with his belt._

I feel a sudden anger, and rush at Eric. He punches me in the jaw again. Guess that's his favorite spot. He hits harder than last time, and I taste blood. My head rushes, but I spit the blood out on the side of the mat. That gets his attention, and while he looks at it I twirl and roundhouse kick him in the chest. He stumbles back from the blow, but doesn't fall over. Eric rushes towards me with a raised fist. I duck, swivel, and trip him as he showed me. Then I climb onto his torso and start punching his face, over and over again. Imagining him as my molesters, or as my father. I punch harder until I feel my knuckles start to split. As I slow down, he grabs my hands. I cut parts of his face.

I breathe heavily while sitting on him, feeling his diaphragm expand under my legs. He stares at me with such an intensity, that I have look away for a second. Then I slide off of him, taking a look at my knuckles. Blood trickles down them. Eric's blood and my own. I lie on the mat next to him.

"Get up," he says next to me.

"What?" I question.

"I said get up. Keep fighting."

"But you're-"

"Stopping is weakness. If I were an enemy, I wouldn't stop fighting." He stands up. As do I.

Four walks towards us. "What happened to you?" he asks Eric. "Did she get you good?"

"Go to hell," Eric says, spitting out blood as I did earlier.

"Good job, Kate," Four says to me, running his hand through his hair. "I see you didn't go easy on him."

"I could kill her if I wanted," Eric mutters.

"Okay," Four says. "Go get cleaned up, Kate."

I nod at Four and walk to get my hands cleaned up by the bathrooms in the corner of the pit. I walk slowly, trying to avoid attention. Once I get to the sinks, I take my time cleaning off my split knuckles. I splash some water on my face to get rid of the cuts that Eric had caused.

Eric.

He caused them.

He caused me pain just like my father has. It's his fault he's bleeding. He asked for it. The water stings my wrists, but I soldier on as I always do. I am a part of Dauntless now. There's no such thing as stepping down from a battle or surrendering.

_"Did he do this to you?"_

_I stared at Chris, observing him carefully with my wide eyes. _

_"Yes." I folded my hands together._

_He brushed against my shoulder. "I will kill him for what he did to you."_

I blink away the memory, not wanting to go back to life as an Erudite. I'm Dauntless now. Erudite does not matter at all anymore. Chris is gone. My childhood friend. I wonder if things would've been different if he stayed in Erudite instead of transferring to Dauntless. Maybe I wouldn't have joined Dauntless if I knew he had joined Amity, or Candor. Maybe we could've stayed as friends. But then again, that never happens, now does it?

I look over my shoulder at Eric. From the angle his face is, I recognize the curve of his nose. And his jawline.

_Chris._

**Author's Note:**

Okay well, that concludes Chapter 1, which is a bit cheesy, I admit. I'll probably rewrite it sometime or something like that, but this is it for now.

I hope you enjoyed.

Review? Make my day please? :D


	2. Chapter 2- So Far Away

**Author's Note:**

Yay, I'm glad people are following this story! I was worried it would be too stereotypical, Eric suddenly being a softy for a girl.

But yay people like it!

So I'm already uploading this chapter...go spring break. This is just a filler chapter so nothing interesting really happens in this- I swear it'll start picking up in the next chapter

Thanks for the reviews. By the way, like in some other fanfictions I have done, I'll include a song at the beginning of each chapter, if you want to listen to a song that relates to the chapter somehow and what not. And at the end of each chapter will be a quote- so yeah. Enjooy.

_Chapter 2. So Far Away_

_Song: Tori Kelly- Dear No One_

_I checked the clock on the wall and got out of my bed quickly, noticing I was late for breakfast. I slid on a tight blue shirt and fixed my hair into a blue ponytail as I left my rather blue room. My father was sitting at the table just outside of my bedroom, carefully scooping eggs into his mouth as he flipped to the next page of the book he was reading. His brow was furrowed as he looked up at me._

_"Change your shirt and put some shoes on," he muttered, going back to the book in his hands. I've learned not to argue with him or else I earn a slap across my face. Or two. So without any hesitation, I scurried back into my room and put on plain blue flats with a blue jacket that covered my shoulders. Deep breath, I reminded myself, looking out the window of the small apartment in the Erudite headquarters. Outside people walked around, books in hands or sitting in the grass and writing on pieces of paper. Typical day._

_Exiting the room, I grabbed the book I'm reading. My father looked at me as he did earlier, and gave a short nod of approval. _

_"Get to school," he said. I guess I'd get breakfast somewhere else. I tried not to show an expression as I exited the room, closing the door softly behind me so that my father wouldn't yell at me later. It was those little things that set him off so easily. _

_I looked down the hall, seeing no one from the other apartments exiting them. So I sat down, my back against the door, and put my head in my hands for a few moments. Then, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up, seeing a boy with a soft smile, long brown hair, and bluish gray eyes._

_"What are you doing on the ground?" he asked, his head turning sideways in curiosity._

_"Sitting," I replied honestly. He held out his hand, I slowly reached my hand up to grab_

Zeke's hand and I land, onto the walkway that crosses the chasm, on both feet. For a second after I catch my balance, Zeke continues holding my hand. It's sweaty, like mine. Of course mine is sweaty, I was just hanging off the chasm because of a dare. So why are his all sweaty? Probably because the air is damp. I don't ask, I just smile and thank him for helping me up.

As soon as I let go of Zeke's hand (he doesn't let go of mine first), I hug Symphony. She pats me on the back. Knowing that she dared me to do this makes me wonder what other ideas she has in her mind.

"I knew you'd live," she says with a slight chuckle.

"And what if I had died?" I challenge, pulling away from the hug and crossing my arms. I raise an eyebrow.

"Kate, trust me, you wouldn't have died."

"So sure?" A boy named Echo speaks up. He's in our circle of Dare. As Dauntless Initiates, we needed something to keep us entertained during the night. Hence our circle of Dare. Echo brushes the black hair from his eyes.

"Yes, I mean, Kate's stronger than she looks," Symphony says back to him, I know she's thinking of my fighting with Eric the other day. Echo shrugs, casting a look towards Zeke. Zeke smiles at me quickly, and then opens his lips to speak.

"We should get to bed," he says. As Four's assistant, he should be telling us that we're not supposed to be hanging off the chasm in the first place, but I managed to convince him earlier to come with us, somehow. Our circle of Dare all nods in agreement, and we trudge away from the chasm, the ever-roaring sound of the waterfall starts to slowly disappear, and sounds more like an echo with each step I take. I notice I seem to walk ahead of everyone else, studying the curves of the rocks that make up the hallway. As a kid, I was always waiting for this day, the day when I become a part of Dauntless. At least, ever since Chris mentioned the idea of joining Dauntless. He seemed set on the idea.

The thought puts an automatic picture of Eric in my head, but I brush it away as I don't want to think about it. Instead, I focus on the number of steps it takes me to get to the dormitory, where I sleep along with the other transfers. While I count, I hear Symphony's soft voice ringing throughout the hall, asking someone what it was like growing up in Dauntless. I'm not surprised when I hear Zeke's voice in response. I guess Symphony's making her move.

Ninety-three steps. It takes ninety-three steps to get to the dormitory from when I started counting, which was a while ago. Symphony still talks to Zeke, though I notice there are some awkward breaks in the conversation, as Zeke doesn't asking many questions.

"Goodnight Kate!" Zeke calls as I open the door to the dormitory. I quickly close it, not wanting to disturb the other initiates that are sleeping already. I turn my head, looking at Zeke. His hand slowly reaches his side, like he was waving. I nod quickly, and slip inside the room just as I hear Symphony saying goodnight to Zeke.

Everything is dark. Well of course it's dark, considering I'm standing in a room with jack squat light. I take a step forward and hit the edge of a bed, which causes me to curse silently. There's a throbbing feeling in my leg by the time I reach my bed, which lies in the back left corner of the room, next to Symphony's. I lay down, instantly sliding my pants off. The room is extremely hot.

But I don't take my pants off all the way. Thoughts of my violators invade my head. I don't want that to happen again. It's easier if I have my pants on, I suppose. Harder for them to violate me. Easier to gain myself time. So I pull my pants back up to cover my legs for safety. I'll have to suffer the heat if it means I'm safe. I roll onto my side and face the wall, tracing shapes into it with my fingers to calm me.

The cold rock feels nice against my hand. I press my palm against it, pretending I'm touching someone else's hand. Chris's. Eric's? Is Eric Chris? I stare at the wall for a while, the thought rolling around in circles in my head. He did transfer to Dauntless. He has the same eyes, same nose-

Maybe Chris had a brother. It'd be a brother I never met, but it could be true. I don't feel like thinking about it, it sounds all too fake and cheesy, but I can't get the thought out of my head. Chris always talked about how he wanted to change himself completely and start over all over again. Well maybe he changed his name to Eric, got rid of the dreadlocks and in turn, got some tattoos. The thought of Chris being in reaching distance sends a warm feeling to my stomach. But it also confuses me. How do I approach him?

Even just that gives me a headache. I roll over to face the rest of the initiates and realize I've been thinking for a long time. Symphony looks like she's already asleep. I sigh and roll onto my back. I place my arms across my stomach, like a shield from everyone else in the room, and I close my eyes one at a time.

* * *

I'm not a morning person. I never truly was. Especially when I'm woken up extremely early and told to be ready in two minutes for training. Symphony smiles when she notices I'm awake.

"Eric and Four are fighting today, don't you remember?" she asks, slipping on a new black tank top.

Honestly, I didn't remember. I'm not good at remembering anything, especially things I don't care about, or things I don't want to remember.

"Right," I resort to saying, after Symphony gives me a look; she was waiting for a response. After my brief talk with Symphony, I grab a pair of socks and put them on. I don't bother changing my clothes. Any of the boys in the room could've already seen my naked frame, I don't need them seeing it again.

Someone pulls on my arm, which gets me to realize I've closed my eyes. I jerk my attention towards Symphony. Her eyes show concern.

"You okay, Kate?" she asks. I barely answer, just gently nod my head.

"Fine," I say, knowing that if I don't give more of an answer, Symphony will only push.

"Fine," she says, "such a nice word that means absolutely nothing. Buuuutttt, I won't push. I understand that something's going on and you need time to figure it out."

I know that Symphony is obviously irritated I won't tell her what's wrong, but I mean, I don't even know what's wrong. Aside from the fact I was almost raped, and that my childhood savior may now be an evil force of nature, I can't decide what's upsetting me. Most of the initiates already cleared out of the room, so I start walking towards the entrance. My friend follows in suit.

"You're late," are the first words out of Four's mouth as Symphony and I enter the Pit. His arms are crossed as he stares us down. If there's any way to intimidate someone, this man gets the award for the best way.

"Sorry, sir," Symphony squeaks out. I repeat her words quickly.

"Call me Four, and don't be late next time." With that, Four walks away. I watch him walk to a group of other people. Initiates stand in front of a board on the wall. I look up at it, and realize what they're looking at. Our ranks for the first stage of initiation. I smile when I see my name in sixth place, Symphony in fourth. I made it through the first stage, and a small feeling of euphoria starts in my throat and makes it to my mouth, causing me to whisper a small cheer.

I hug Symphony, she hugs me too. But then I see a name under the line. Echo's. He stands in the corner of the Pit, kind of looking at his feet.

Symphony doesn't notice this. "By the way, tonight we're all getting tattoos, well our friends are, and I think tomorrow we're going to play Capture the Flag, after seeing our parents for Visiting Day."

I force a smile for her, forgetting completely about Visiting Day. I guess I'm going to be alone most of tomorrow. So I dismiss her by waving a quick goodbye, and then slowly walk to Echo. His eyes flick my way as soon as I get within his peripheral vision.

"Hey," he says, his black hair waving from his head movements.

"Hey, how are you?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Well I guess I'm going to be factionless." His chuckle as he says factionless reveals how much sorrow is in his heart at the moment.

"I'm sorry," I whisper quietly, unsure of what to say. I see tears jerk at the corner of his eyes and I hug him quickly, but I can tell all he really wants is a nice long hug. His sad blue eyes pierce the dim light of the room. Even my heart tugs at his expression. It must suck, realizing that you'll have barely any place to live for the rest of your life. If I were in his position, I'd probably cry for days, hope the Abnegation feed me as they say they do, and then- well, I don't really know what else I would do. I stop speaking, and instead hug Echo again. His arms wrap around me tightly. Even though he's a few inches taller than me, he can still lay his head against my shoulder, and he does so. For a few moments we don't do anything until someone puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey." Of course it's Symphony. "Heard the bad news," she says. I peel myself out of Echo's arms and let Symphony hug him instead. Hopefully this makes him feel better. It probably doesn't make up for the fact that he's factionless, but maybe it gives him a sense of knowing we're here for him.

I let Symphony talk to him and walk away, right towards Zeke. I don't even notice I'm walking towards him until I bump into him. He turns around and raises his eyebrows as soon as I see him.

"Congrats," he says, shaking my hand in a rather formal way.

"Yeah, not so much for Echo." I glance over my shoulder at him, he's talking to Symphony still.

Zeke nods. "It's tragic, but hey, you got in. You've survived another day."

"I suppose. Just really suckish he didn't get in."

Zeke puts both hands on my shoulder. "Just be glad you're in."

"Okay, ookkayy," I repeat after he sends a look to make sure that I'm sure. The corner of his lips tug upwards.

"Getting a tattoo tonight like everyone else?" he asks, obviously trying to get my mind of the whole Echo thing. And I appreciate it, so I go along with his question.

"I think."

"Any ideas of what it's going to be?"

"Nope," I pop the p. Zeke looks around for a bit, and I look at his tight fitting t-shirt, admiring the muscles they show. A girl can't really help herself when she's surrounded by nice looking men. Though I do feel guilty, as I should be upset about Echo.

I shake the whole ordeal from my mind, and instead look towards Four. I now see that he's communicating with Eric. Or Chris. Or Eric. Too confusing, not worrying about it. They seem to be bickering over something. I don't know what that something is, but it tugs at my mind.

My thoughts turn to Zeke again. Think about him, I tell myself. Think about how cute he is. But then again, Symphony likes him and that would be wrong to do.

Zeke watches me as the few seconds in which these thoughts, that invade my mind, pass.

"Sorry zoned out," I quickly blurt out. Zeke narrows his eyebrows.

Someone else starts speaking loudly among the crowd of initiates, which gains both Zeke's and my attention. A Dauntless leader, more specific, Eric, stands on one of the fighting platforms.

"Visiting Day has been moved to today, since some of the initiates will be leaving tonight." His voice is proper, he stands with form. "Those initiates will get to see their family before they leave."

Those initiates. Like Echo.

"Your families should arrive shortly. We remind you not to get too attached. As you all know, faction before blood." Eric steps down off the platform as some initiates clap for him, the others confused and upset, complaining to each other that their parents might still think Visiting Day is tomorrow, and then some threatening to run away to see their families _because_ their families might not show because of the changed date. I frown. At least they're lucky to have families that are willing to see them. Can't they be grateful for that?

I look towards Zeke. He sighs, and then looks to his left. His eyes widen in surprise, but subtly; they don't widen by much. I look to see what's caught his attention. Eric walks in our direction, his eyes directly on me.

_"One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered."  
_-Michael J. Fox

**Author's Note:**

Well, that concludes this chapter. So yeah, boring. The next chapter is going to focus on Kate's past life with Chris, so that might be boring as well but don't worry, this will pick up real soon I promisee!

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ilovepurple13: Thankss. I didn't know if showing Eric's soft side would be good, cause most people don't think he has a soft side, but I'm glad you like it :D

Guest: Dankkee, hope you enjoyed this chapter

13Nyx13: Thank ye. I worked hard on the beginning, so I'm glad you enjoyed it.


	3. Chapter 3- Remenissions

**Author's Note:**

Hellooo! I'm back, really soon...

I started watching Attack on Titan, if any of you guys watch that. It's so awesome I looove Levi.

Anyway new followers- thank you. This is Chapter threeee, I apologize for any spelling erros, but enjoy it. :D~

_Chapter 2. Remenissions_

_Song: Oasis- Wonderwall_

_"Chris," I said to the boy sitting on the bench next to me._

_"That'd be my name," he said with a slight chuckle, brushing a dreadlock behind his ear. I smiled at him. I haven't smiled in a while. It felt good, knowing I had a friend and all. _

_"Can I ask you a question?" The nice spring breeze blew throughout my hair, as well as Chris's. People passed by the walkway to the Erudite headquarters, and they glanced at us, but we paid no mind. We had no business with their judgments of us._

_Nor did they have any business with our judgments of them. It was something that Chris said was important to remember. It doesn't matter what they think, it's not our business, and vice versa. _

_For the past three days I had been lying to my father about going to the library, when in reality, I was hanging out with my new friend, Chris. If my father had found out, I'd be dead. Not dead, but…very injured. Maybe even put into the hospital. But Chris didn't know about that stuff yet._

_"Depends on the question," Chris said, stretching his legs out. He wore plain jeans with a blue colored shirt. A hint of black trailed at the edges of his polo. He supported Dauntless. He was serious about getting in._

_"What are you going to do if you don't get into Dauntless?" It wasn't the question I originally had in mind, but I figured that Chris didn't want to talk about what I wanted to talk about. Which was asking him if he fancied me in any way. Somehow, though, I think he saw through the question._

_"Well if I don't get in, I'm probably gonna find my way back to you. You'll take care of me, right?" he asked. I blushed at his answer, and I'm not sure if he saw it, considering I've never blushed before. I'm assuming he did see it, as he grinned at my response. _

_"Of course I'd take care of you. Though I'm sure I'll choose Dauntless too."_

_"Why?"_

_I shrugged earnestly. "Maybe we could end up in the same place, same job. We could work together, and maybe do other things together too." I replied. Chris's grin grew only larger as I imagined him imagining us in Dauntless together, doing things. Going to the Hancock Building and zip lining, if the rumors that the Dauntless did that were correct. I was sure they were._

_"Like what?" he teased._

_"I don't know, you think of something," I teased._

_"We could be more than friends," he said, brushing a strand of loose hair behind my ear as he studied my body. I loved when his eyes were on me. It made me feel like the only girl in the world. The only girl that mattered to him. Like we could be invincible, together forever. But I know that was impossible. My dad would find out. We couldn't be together. It's forbidden love. My father would never allow me to be with a boy like Chris. Not unless we went to Dauntless. There, we could be truly free, truly together._

_"You're beautiful," Chris said suddenly._

_I furrowed my brow, unsure of what else I should do in this situation._

_His grin disappeared. "What?" he asked, like he thought he said something wrong._

_Instantly, I let up on my expression, realizing that's why he started frowning. "No one told me that before."_

_"I'm surprised, but glad I'm the first one, then," he whispered, inching closer. So close I could smell him._

Eric stares down at Zeke and I as soon as he gets close enough. Except, Zeke is about his height so it doesn't really count as staring down. More like staring _at. _Either way, his glare makes me uncomfortable, and I shift under it. His eyes look me up and down for a few moments, and his features grow softer.

"Leave, Zeke," he says to my friend. Zeke crosses his arms, but when Eric raises his eyebrows, Zeke huffs and leaves without any physical fight. Which reminds me, when are Four and Eric fighting? I brush my fingers through my hair as Zeke leaves. Only when my arm brushes against my jawline do I realize how tender the skin is there. I must have a massive bruise from when Eric hit me. It's hard to believe he's Chris while knowing that he had hurt me intentionally. What kind of friend would do that? I start to have doubts and realize I'm looking at my feet.

When I look up, I only see the resemblance of Chris in Eric's face. Except for his eyes. His eyes scare me. Intimidate me. Make me uncomfortable, but if I don't make eye contact, I only show weakness. And weakness is no good, now is it?

"Congrats, Nose," are the first words from Eric's mouth, and instantly I feel a desire to hit him again. His eyes dart around quickly, and then lean towards me.

I instantly repel, and try to lean away from him, but then realize he's trying to whisper something to me. How foolish am I to think that a Dauntless Leader would kiss me? I'll scold myself later for that.

"We need to talk later," Eric whispers, his breath blowing against my neck as he exhales. He then stands up straight, smoothens his vest, and walks away. I take a deep breath, relishing the moment where he was close. Then I shake my head, and force myself to touch the left side of my jaw, which instantly shoots pain through my mouth. Scolding. I can't be this person again. This weak person that follows everyone's orders.

But then I realize what Eric actually said. When is later? _Where_ is later? What will we talk about later? Why is there a need to talk? Does he recognize me? Does this mean that Eric _is_ Chris?

Too many questions. I push on my jaw again, forcing myself to think of the pain instead of the man that caused the pain. I, myself, smoothen my own tank top, as Eric had with his vest, and then walk towards Zeke. Symphony has stopped talking to Echo, and has managed to start a conversation with Zeke. Echo isn't even in sight anymore, I notice, as I look around. Zeke stops listening to Symphony's sentence as he sees me walk towards him.

"What did Eric want?" he asks. I can tell Symphony is upset already by Zeke's lack of interest.

"He just said that I need to work on some things," I lie. What would Zeke say if I said Eric wanted to talk to me? I don't know why I even lied, it doesn't make a difference whether I told him or not, but something wanted me to keep Eric a secret. At least for now. So that's part of the reason why I shut my mouth.

"That's it?" Zeke questions, obviously not convinced.

"Yeah, weird, isn't it?" I switch the topic to Symphony. "So Symphony, any idea on what you want your tattoo to be of?"

Her lips tug upwards, glad she's getting a chance to speak apparently. "I'm not sure. Something to decorate my arms, like Eric's."

Eric's arms have a strange assortment of mazes, at least on his forearms. I wonder what made him get those.

"Interesting," Zeke says. "What about you, Kate? Still no idea?"

"I'm thinking about getting a tattoo on my ribcage that has the Erudite symbol, but instead of a pupil in the eye, is has Dauntless' symbol." The idea never occurred to me before. It spilled out of my mouth, somehow. Like word vomit, except not as severe, and the good kind of word vomit.

Zeke's eyes widened.

"I know, if you watch, you'll see my stomach. What happy times," I roll my eyes and give a small chuckle, when in reality I regret the sentence. What if the boys are there. Those boys that did those things.

I still don't know who my rescuer is. Strong, soft arms-

"No, it's just an idea I would've never thought of," Zeke admits. Then I hear a soft array of cheers from the initiates.

Adults pour in through one of the corridors. Visiting day has started, I assume. Symphony leaves us instantly, probably to go find her parents before they get trampled by all the other kids rushing to see their own. I put my hands in my pocket and stare at Zeke. He looks back at me with a smug smile on my face.

I'm about to ask what, but there's no need. He takes a step forwards, and smashes his lips against mine. The impact is hard, I can tell he was nervous about kissing me. It isn't my first kiss, but my first one…since Chris.

I do what any girl would do, I kiss him back, moving my mouth against his. He puts his hands on my waist to steady me, and after a few seconds, pulls away. I gave him the result he expected.

Instantly, guilt courses through my veins. Guilt from kissing Symphony's crush. I don't want to feel the guilt, but I must reek of it by now. Zeke's smug smile returns and he struts towards the crowd of parents without looking back at me. So I walk to the wall of the Pit, and sit against it, banging my head against the rock as to punish myself for yet another fault today. Wow, a lot of faults in one day. Maybe five so far, if you count my trips on the way to the Pit with Symphony this morning.

"New record, Kate," I mutter to myself, just as a hand reaches down for mine.

I connect the arm with its master.

I guess later is not that long. Eric stares down at me.

"I assume you aren't expecting any parents."

I grab his hand, and he hoists me up, his calloused hands are rough and cold.

"Come," he gently beckons, walking a few steps ahead of me. We leave the Pit and enter a corridor I hadn't been down before. Our footsteps echo softly, Eric's are louder than mine.

After making sure no one is in the same general area, Eric stops walking and turns to me.

"What are you doing here, Kate?" he questions, and I realize that he knows. He is Chris.

"What do you mean? I said that if you transferred, I would too," I argue. His eyes narrow and I can tell he's taking a big breath.

"Things are different," he mumbles, averting my eyes.

"Chris-"

"My name is Eric, not Chris."

"I know but-"

He cuts me off again, "You will call me Eric."

Anger runs throughout my veins. How dare he order me around? He is my leader, but how dare he? He's supposed to be my friend still; he was more than a friend when I knew him. He said that we could be more than friends if we joined Dauntless together. I guess I know what he means by things are different.

"Yeah, okay," I blurt out with sudden rage, staring him up. We make eye contact as the words spill through my lips. "You know, I came here for you. Not for me. I guess things really are different, though."

I walk away. I don't say anything else, I just walk away, expecting him to call out for me. To say what? To say he's sorry, to say I can call him Chris, to explain that I'm not just any other initiate he has to train. But he doesn't call after me. He doesn't even so much as take a step towards me, for I hear no footsteps coming my way. All I hear is my heartbeat in my ears. I don't even know if I fazed him, and I guess that's what really bothers me. Just knowing that I may not even matter to him at all anymore. It's enough to tear my heart apart.

_"Because what's worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?"  
_-James Patterson

**Author's Note:**

That brings us to a close... the end of chapter 3. I've rewritten the next chapter about fifty times to make it perfect for you, so hopefully you'll enjoy it when I upload it onto this site.

Have a nice day, you guys, and let me know what you think in the review box down there vvv

Replies:

sheerio4ever: I felt really bad for Echo. But I was like: I need something somewhat sad...Echo doesn't really do anything I'll just get rid of him in the first chapter he appears in. Glad you like it. :D

MyFandoms7: Here's your updateee! I'm glad you like this side of Eric, it's hard to write, knowing I can't make him too soft but I need to give him a somewhat soft side. So thank youu.


	4. Chapter 4- Beast and the Harlot

**Author's Note:**

Hello! How are y'all! This is once again a filler chapter- SO IT IS BORINNNNGG.

Thats basically all, hi new followers :

_Chapter 3. Beast and the Harlot_

_Song: He is We- Pardon Me_

"You kissed Zeke."

It was more of a statement than a question, but I can still see the anger in Symphony's eyes. As if my day hasn't already gotten worse.

"He kissed me," I say. We stand back in the Pit together, parents starting to leave. After leaving Eric, and almost getting lost, I sat against the wall of the Pit while people found their families. I had been so absorbed with thinking about my father and my past, that I almost forgot Zeke kissing me. It isn't that big of a deal, considering I don't even know if I have feelings for him. But I can see why it's a big deal for Symphony. She's been trying for some time to get his attention, and it hasn't worked. But somehow it worked easily for me.

"It doesn't matter, you know I have a huge crush on him!" Symphony stomps her foot on the ground to emphasize her fury. Can't blame her.

I purse my lips for a few moments, no idea what I should say to make her feel better. It's hard to make someone else feel better when you feel like shit yourself. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Eric enter the room. A small pang in my heart tells me to apologize, but I shouldn't. He doesn't care about me like he said he did way back when we were in Erudite together.

The Dauntless leader doesn't so much as glance in my direction as he walks in the Pit, keeps his eyes peeled on looking at the leaving parents.

Symphony snaps her fingers in front of my face. "Hello?"

"I'm sorry," I mutter, "maybe Zeke isn't meant for you. You can try your chances with Johnson, maybe."

Symphony huffs, still angry. Footsteps appear behind her. "Speak of the devil," she says.

"Hey Symph," Johnson throws his arm around her neck. She rolls her eyes. "Fight between Eric and Four is going to start soon. Big crowd, from the looks of it." Symphony tries to get his arm off from around her neck, but it's no use.

I glance towards the fighting platform that Eric made the announcement on earlier. Most of the parents are gone, and a small crowd has formed around the platform.

I guess Dauntless really does take the whole faction before blood thing seriously, because Visiting Day hasn't even lasted more than three hours.

"You can sit on my shoulders if you want," Johnson wiggles his eyebrows. Zeke makes his way over to us, and catches the last sentence. He smirks at it. I see the look on Symphony's face. Obviously she sees this as a chance to make Zeke jealous, because she agrees to Johnson's offer.

So Symphony ends up on Johnson's shoulders, and I end up with Zeke's arm around my shoulders as we squish our way to the front of the crowd. Eric and Four stand across from each other, and suddenly I don't feel like watching the fight. I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach as soon as Four nods to Eric, then lunges. I look around at the people all around me, who are mostly cheering on Four and booing Eric. The noise is loud, which is all I think for the time being, over and over again. By the time I star t paying attention to the actual fight, I notice how it goes back and forth between winners.

Eric gets a few punches in.

Then Four gets some in.

Then it repeats. Over and over for a while. All the meanwhile, people scream into my ear. Zeke's grip tightens around my shoulder when I start to wobble on my feet. I really don't like headaches.

"You okay?" he whispers near my ear so that I can hear him over the crowd. I rub a free hand a bit behind my right ear, feeling a soft panging that gets stronger every few seconds and then returns to a dulling sensation.

"Yes, I'm fine," I reply, though I'm rather unsure. I've had headaches before but I honestly haven't had this kind. I'm probably fine though. I look back towards the fight in means of distracting myself, but it doesn't hurt.

Four is on top of Eric, throwing punches at his face, with a smile on his face. Eric guards his head, but it doesn't work. A few more punches, and Four pauses. Eric's arms fall limply to his sides. Four starts to stand up- but then Eric jerks back to life, kicks Four off of him. It startles the initiate instructor, who stumbles back a few paces. It gives Eric time to stand up and get into a fighting stance, grinning like Four was only moments earlier. Yet, it doesn't take long for Four to get close to Eric, jab him in the neck, and then roundhouse kick him backward. Eric lands on his back, and he is on the floor yet again. Then Four walks up the Eric, and brings his foot back- about to kick him in the head.

I slowly lift my hand to my mouth.

"Alright, that's enough," someone says behind the fighting platform. Four turns around, and I twist my head to try and see what's happening, but I can't see anyone, and all I hear are voices.

"Sorry, sir," Four mumbles.

"Tell the initiates to go get lunch. Four, Eric, start the second stage when they return."

"There are almost thirty transfers- some transfers take thirty minutes. We would have to start tomorrow to fill everyone in-"

"Start the second stage when they return."

I hear footsteps echoing out of the room, and look up at Symphony. She sits with a frown on her face, on top of Johnson's shoulders. Her arms are crossed. A few kids that block part of my view are pouting in front of me.

"Lunch. Now," Eric demands. Murmurs develop as kids start walking towards the exit, glaring back at Eric every so often. Blood drips from cuts in his cheeks and from his nose, while Four is only bleeding from his nose. For a second, I don't even remember what I'm doing until Zeke pulls at my shoulder.

"Come on, lunch," he says.

Johnson walks a few feet ahead with Symphony walking in line with him. I guess they sort of make a cute couple.

"Right," I reply. As I walk towards the exit, I take on last glance over at Eric, and find him looking right back at me.

* * *

"Love hamburgers," Symphony says, shoveling meat into her mouth.

"Yeah, they're pretty good," I reply, picking at the edges of the rounded beef on my plate. Eric's stare lingers in the back of my mind and I can't get it out. It's an itch I can't scratch. So I try not to think about it, and instead think about the tattoo that I was going to get tonight. And that reminds me of how we're starting the second stage after I'm done this patty.

Apparently Dauntless uses this thing called a fear serum, which digs into the fears of your mind and brings them to life. Or at least that's how it seems. And to escape the fears you have to be totally calm. I'm not even sure what my fears are yet, and I'm kind of scared to find out. Hopefully I don't have too many. And hopefully I am able to get over them.

"I'm afraid of heights," Symphony blurts out.

"I'm afraid of the woods, or serial killers in the woods." That comes from Johnson. A long moment of silence passes before we burst out laughing. At least, everyone else starts laughing. I stay perfectly neutral, trying to think of my own fears. Of course, the harder I think, the harder it is to dig into the pits of my mind.

"I'm sure you guys'll do fine," Zeke replies in a positive tone. At least he's an optimist.

"Did you do fine?" Johnson questions.

Zeke lets out a small chuckle. Maybe he didn't do so well. Maybe he was the best in his class.

"I did fine, I suppose. For my first time at least."

"You worded that wrong," Symphony giggles.

"You pointed it out," Zeke shoots back and then looks for the right words. They seem to be just on the tip of his tongue.

"It was…intense. I had a few fears I didn't even realize I had so I suppose that made it harder for me in one way or another," he pauses. "I had to stick myself with the needle, our instructor wasn't that nice. Kind of like Eric. Anyway, I missed the first time and wow it hurt the second time. So then I just closed my eyes and woke up and there I was, in the middle of a field about to be run over by a herd of animals that I don't ever remember seeing."

"Isn't that weird?" Symphony huffs.

"You had to see them somewhere, maybe in a book or something. Maybe someone drew a picture of them," I say. You're mind cannot make things up, it can only distort things you already have seen or know and distort them into different things to make it seem like you made it up. Something along those lines, at least, if my memory serves me well.

"My little brother, Uriah, probably drew a picture of it somewhere and I probably just forget seeing it," Zeke says. He rubs the back of his head, and then takes another bite of his food. For a second, I stop paying attention to my friends as Eric enters the lunchroom, his cuts still look fresh. He walks to the nearest table, sits down, and grabs food. He stuffs it into his mouth, and chews whilst looking like a pissed off politician.

* * *

I stand in one of two lines, which stand in front of two doors leading to the room where I'll be given the serum. We're separated by last names, so while Symphony stands in the other line, two ahead of Johnson, I stand in the opposite line, sitting on a bench against the wall while I wait for my turn.

Zeke left sometime after lunch. He said something about needing to meet someone somewhere, so I didn't question. As he left, he kissed my cheek and walked away.

The person in front of me goes into the room, and yet another person walks out of the room, shaking. I try to peer in through the open door to see who my instructor will be. For some reason I hope it's Eric, but at the same time I don't want it to be Eric. During lunch Zeke said that Eric makes you inject yourself with the needle, and some people miss the first few times. But I also want to be near Eric, and this gives me a chance to do that and just be near him.

Sadly, I don't see if Eric or Four will be in there with me. Symphony walks into the adjacent door after giving Johnson and high-five.

"Good luck Symph!" I call from where I am, though she doesn't really hear me since she continues walking into the door without acknowledging me. Either that, or she's still mad about earlier. Either way, she still went in and I hope she'll be okay. Obviously she will be, it's more of a matter of will I be okay? I hope the answer is yes. While I wait for the boy in front of me to exit the room, I drum my fingers against my black shorts.

Ten minutes go by. Symphony comes out of her door looking like she just witnessed a murder.

Then a few more minutes pass.

Then the door opens, out comes yet another shaking person. He looks at me with wide eyes and then looks around quickly. Maybe he's still convinced he's still under the effects of the serum?

The door stands open in front of me, a sort of orangeish light shines inside, and I see the chair I'm supposed to sit it. I can just walk in, but why won't my legs move?

Fear, obviously.

I push myself forward into the room, grasp the doorknob behind me, and pull it closed. Then I look up. Eric holds a syringe in his hand and looks at me with a blank expression.

_"Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here."  
_-Marianne Williamson

**Author's Note:**

Okay, I'm excited to write the next chapter- Kate's fears! This will take a bit of time, considering I'm gonna be doing research on common fears besides heights and claustrophobia.

and by a bit of time i mean a week tops

Replies:

TrueColorsNeverFade: Thank you for the wonderful compliment! This chapter doesn't have much...voice and stuff. Writers Block..errgg

ilovepurple13: Haha, thanks. I considered the ending a bit cheesy so I was like: should I upload it like this, should I not? Glad you liked it though~

sheerio4ever: I don't really like Zeke and Kate either to be honest, buuuttt, you're right. Until Eric starts being a bit nice, Kate's gonna be with our lovely Zeke.

Loveiny: Why thank youuu! I love this compliment, I spent a lot of time developing this Eric to make him seem cold like always, but able to love if he really lets himself.

Raj: I like the soft side of Eric, what about you? Or at least...my soft side of him, I suppose. About the whole one-sided thing, I got that whole idea from an interview with Jai Courtney and Miles Teller talking about building their characters. Thanks for the review


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